Sitting here, I breathe in your presence—You— Do you breathe me in, too?
With arms, I gather to my heart Heaven. Angel wings carry me Somewhere. Candlelight flickers in the Wind— from where to where, I do not know— Words take form in cloudburst: "I Love You"
How can this darkness hold such promise? Such comfort? How can exile hold the vision of Home? … a tomb herald resurrection? … loss birth such Love?
Do I dream this stormy Love-message? Can it be true? That this is for me? From you? How can such Love be so gentle yet blissfully tumultuous? How can such taking away make room for me to enjoy so much more?
One drop of blood from the Sky onto my tongue, and I reply, "Yes!" A flower sprouts from the crusty, broken ground. Into my open hand, this greening Life finds its rest. You find rest in me.
Some other hand then holds my heart, and every lost love or never gotten love dissolves into Someplace— I know not where—
One tear flows from my eye, mingled with all the joy and all the sadness I have known. And I taste Eternity—like what I do not know— And I say, "Yes!" And you say, "In all this sadness and joy alike, you have found me. Now, I have made your heart pliant to enjoy me in all things.
"How could you have rightly enjoyed my gifts if I had not withheld them to bring you to me alone? How could you have enjoyed my presence if I had let you find satisfaction in another?"
Sitting here, I breathe in your presence—You. This is enough. In this Light, all else finds meaning for me, even the loss, the death, the dreams that broke my heart—
"Brian, I breathe in you, too. Enjoy! Enjoy all of This!"
How can this jar of clay receive and contain such closeness without falling apart from the ecstasy and bliss?—going out of myself, I find you— Yes!
Is it not true, my Love, that so great a Love must divest me of all else, even myself, so that I become, in union with you, the Love that gives Life?
I am a windowpane through whom you now shine; my body has become only rapture... for— You.
Prayer ... I am ready to be readied to receive what you have for me today. Gentle me not to grasp; tame my passions so to receive with calm and gratitude your quiet Presence and comforting Word. Patient me not to rush, not to yield to busyness; rather, enable me to live gracefully, fully in this present, through your Presence. I know I can handle whatever I face if I live in your Presence. Help me not to close down on anyone or anything. Help me not to distrust myself and my efforts, which I judge needlessly and see as my failures. Rather, help me see and accept myself as you see and accept me and, thereby, see and accept all. Yes.
*Brian's book, An Ache for Union: Poems on Oneness with God through Love, can be ordered through major online booksellers or the publisher AuthorHouse.
